LOOKAMEE looking like a normal! Today I am the smiling face of Someone Once Told Me, the project where you’re photographed with something someone once told you (DO YOU SEE HOW IT WORKS?).

When Mario Cacciottolo first asked me to pose for him I went into paroxyms of panic, because

• I’m not one for pithy life-affirming adages.
• I know a lot of people. They talk a lot. And I barely listen.
• I could only think of entirely inappropriate examples, like when the Chinese lady behind the counter asked me if I wanted “sorefinger” on my chips, or the worrying number of times I’ve been mistaken for a prostitute.

But then I remembered that I’m a beige. A multi-ethnic, polycontinental beige. People always ask where I’m from and the answer always involves some sort of graph.

But that all changed when I met Andy, a down-to-Earth Australian girl I work with who, when I took a deep breath and started listing countries, just waved her hand and said, “Ahh, you’re a BITSA.”

“BITSA?” I asked, as though I were a secondary character whose only lines were to prompt exposition.

“BITSA,” Andy replied. “Bitsa everything.”

Et voila. Pithy life-affirming adage and a solution to having to carry a fucking globe around everywhere I go.

Thank you Andy, and thank you Mario for the photo, the lovely afternoon and the free latte.

{Someone Once Told Me}